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Showing posts with label conversation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conversation. Show all posts

Saturday, April 20, 2013

FaceBook Social Media Isn't What It Seems At All

  You may not be new to Facebook, and my hope in writing this is that you aren't, but if you are new to Facebook, this may save you 
some "skin in the game," from experience.  The leading consultants on social media will tell you how powerful it is as an advertising tool.  The leading local groups for discussion will tell you what a powerful way to stay in touch it is (personally for local - my preference is "ring -ring" but that's just me...).  Those who have huge groups of people in their Facebook family will tell you what a great place it is to share.  Are you seeing a common theme here?

  From this brief you should take away two things:  1)  Experts when it comes to this field, are called that, because they've learned all about this new way of behaving called social media, within the last decade.  They should be noted, and listened to, but also, understood for what they are, experts- you and I, aren't- and the difference, when we understand it- can really spare us a lot of sweat when it comes to what we call success for our Facebook page.  2)  We live in a culture and world which professes to be outcome based; every time you speak with someone the subject invariably becomes, "what happened," or a flavor of that- guess what (?)- the same holds true in social media with Facebook!

  This article really begins three years ago when Joe Vitale, Mr. Fire as he is known, introduced me to a new form of communicating over the internet called Twitter.  Dr. Joe said that Twitter would
change everything, and for me, it truly was, remarkable- suddenly I found myself conversing with people from all over the planet, and enjoying it.   From Twitter my exposure to social media got into Facebook  and I truly believed that I'd found communication via the web heaven- here it was, the answer, the dream, everything.  Wow wee, was it ever a mistaken first impression, because Facebook isn't what it appears to be.

  About the time that my experience in life began to change from working hard to working smart, my training on Facebook also changed, and Mari Smith entered the picture in her seminars.  Mari is not only brilliant, she is not only a student of the craft, but she is a powerful and influential member of what Facebook is actually about- so much so, that Mari speaks now at large events that not too many years ago, weren't.  Today those events, social media training events and seminars, many of which take place via the excellent work of Michael Stelzner, of Social Media Examiner 
fame; are well attended and recognized within the community of Facebook professionals, as having tremendous value, they do; took one online two years back, it changed my Facebook.

  "Scareech..." that's the sound of fingernails on blackboard, most unpleasant, almost no one likes that sound- so it gets attention, and it's why we need to throw on the brakes one second - and stop and realize that what Facebook appears to be is a great communication center where your face and photo's and even videos, can be sent to friends, and those who choose to want to look at what you are saying or going through, that you enter.  Would that pretty much match the opening viewpoint that most of us had?  My experience was from chat rooms and online meeting rooms, suddenly there were images, and video's and sound and motion, wow, it was like an entirely new universe to me, and I'd be willing to bet, for anyone who first walks on to the Facebook page, and starts getting into what it's about, it may seem so, and that, is what sets it apart.

  But the "scareech," is to call attention to the less obvious, the less surface issues, and begin to move into the deeper and more creative areas.  What Facebook begins as in your life, is likely nothing like what it is now; that's either good or bad, some people have actually had some bad experiences on Facebook; but almost every comment that I've heard over the years has been positive.  Let's stop and consider that- here is the 5th largest nation on earth by population, which has more interested and involved members of that nation, than just about any other.  Think about all the posts and all the conversations, and the sheer weight of the value of those and you begin to see, Facebook may be, and likely is, a phenomenon that has changed history; via exposure and open communications; and one which will, into the foreseeable future, continue to be a historically relevant force.  

  A force to be reckoned with, or, a flow to move along with, there are many different ways to relate to the fact of the enormous reality of what Facebook became; that was then, this, however is now, and it may not all be good- so hang on- we're going to go some places that not everyone likes, but places where we may need to check, because Facebook may not be what it appears to be.

  "High Tech High Touch," John Naisbitt began to hint at what we're seeing today, his insight began in 1988; so computing and the social media that we have today, didn't exist, but since that time, and the hardcover publication of his work in 2001, much has changed and not all of it is for the better.  Let me ask you this, are you primarily sharing deep and insightful parts of you out there on the social site?  Likely no, because we know, for the most part, that it is seen by- well; everyone- and certainly by your Facebook friends, that's certainly true; but, we don't want them to know it all, nor would that be good, would it?
 
So what are we not saying, what, in other words, if we were in a high touch; personal, in person, meeting, might we say, that here, in this high tech realm, we won't? On the other hand, because the person isn't there, what will we let fly that were they there, we'd never let get said?  Now before you dismiss this as obvious, stay one more round, because it's going to be worth considering, that's the way that social science is, taught it for a couple of years at two year colleges, that and basic psych  so, this is an informed opinion, with some facts to back it, Facebook, isn't what it appears to be.

  Imagine standing outside a house and looking into the window of that home, what might you see?  You might see mom and dad very wildly gesticulating with their hands and arms, and you might think that they are having - A.  An argument?  Or, possibly, B. A very intense discussion.  What would cause you to deduce such?  Their gestures, right(?)- their hands and faces, and things that you could see standing outside that window- and looking in. 

  This would be things that you would know from that perspective, that they wouldn't know that you knew.  Suppose that after several hours you return to their home, knock on the door, and go into that living room with them?  Now you can talk, exchange ideas, and both of you will know the same information, they know and you know.  You wouldn't know what was inside their heads, what they were thinking, unless they told you, so those things would be secret, unless revealed; in which instance, the secrets would become shared information.  Things that you know and they know, things that they know and you don't (their inner thoughts), things you know and they don't (what you saw), and a category we seldom like to address, that neither of you know- the deep end where a lack of knowing can be very powerful.  

  This is called the JoHari window concept, it was invented by two men who studied four areas of our thinking and feelings and lives and how those four areas impact upon our lives and the lives of others...this isn't new stuff, it's well recognized in the world today, here for example, is one site of 348 thousand that come up when Googled [click]  Here comes the kicker - we're going to put some ingredients into this mix and the soup is going to start to have a flavor because Facebook isn't all that it appears to be, point in fact, it may something we aren't thinking it is capable of being?  Something that we don't want to believe, it could be.

  Step back into social media, only now, see it through the lens of this truth, it's a harsher lens, because what may be happening, as we participate in it, may not be what we'd like?  What would your ideal outcome from Facebook be- have you one in mind?  When you post something, is it just, "getting it said," or do you think before you post?  How when you comment, reply, do you just "go with it," or do you stop and analyze, then reply; or, in such instances, do you choose to just observe with no comment?  We're going to wrap this first session up with a doozy; but it's a doozy worth it to you for thought, is my hope in bringing it to the table.  

  When you have a high touch experience, a hug, a smile in person, a group where everyone has a good time playing games, a great restaurant experience, a grand time- somewhere- that's warming to the soul, we love those times, and we remember them, they are warm.  Facebook isn't warm, it's techno, yes, you see the smile, but
no, the person isn't there.  

One of the brilliant leaders from Britain, Michelle Holmes teaches us to use video, now, Michelle I believe credits that idea to Marie Forleo, who has a great show on MarieTV; and also I'd believe Amy Porterfield another astonishing leader; who also, along with Mari Smith and Michael Stelzner emphasizes the use of, and high content value of, video.  Here's the doozy; video or not, it's not the warm tech of touch, it is still high tech, cold tech, no matter how warm we try to make it- and therein, we shall on this first session, stop- with the doozy-
is Facebook a cold tech nation?

  Love to hear from you, and we will be putting this session into a video, and we will continue to explore the doozy, but we'd love to have you join in that exploration- if we can answer any questions about this, please do contact Dr.D at drd1201@gmail.com, or the cell, 318-465-2762, yes, I do answer emails, in a day or two, and yes I certainly do answer the cell, but if we're meeting with officials or clients, might have to get back to you, I try to return all calls within a day...please do leave a voicemail, although friends have been fussing at me about that being full...;-)  See a pattern here?  At any rate, thanks for taking your valuable time to consider the nature of what Facebook may actually be and what that may mean...

  

  

  

Sunday, June 19, 2011

All it is...-4-

Her wanting to know what I did was
an open invitation-all I had to do
 was answer her, but there
was a problem, like always- the answer
could be many different things?
"Madeline that's a good question- what
do I do?  Well I do what needs doing to
try and help the community, how's that?"
She looked intently at me, she had that
look when I'd suggested that it'd be fun
to explain to her what I did over lunch?
Now she was looking at me again, intently,
and so I noticed she had a strange color
to her eyes?  How does the color of a
persons eyes go with their shape and
size and bearing- I don't know, but from
some weird place, hers matched.
"Chuck you just generally do whatever?
That doesn't sound like the man who
asked me all those entangling questions
last year?  Yes," she saw my shock," I
do remember..."
"What must have been going through my
mind at that party?"  We both smiled,
it had been a quick year.
"You kept coming back to me, and I
really wasn't in the mood..."
"I remember that..."
"So why'd you act like that?"
"Might've been, nerves?"
"Not from you - that just doesn't fit."
She was positioning me in this and
I couldn't have that be the way that
this conversation went, it had to go
to a point where I could try to discover
what she'd meant about explosions?
So the hard part, I looked intently back
into her dark brown eyes and asked
her, "You asked me, now it's my turn,
what are you up to these days?"

She actually paused - and it wasn't for
effect, I could tell, wheels were spinning,
"Chuck, it is odd that you were out there,
my appointment with Bert had been made
weeks before.  We had decided to look
over whether his plane was what we
needed."
"We?"
"The folks who are paying me..."
"Folks?"
"Chuck let's just say that I work in an
area of security that you'd find creepy
I think."
"Oh why's that?"
"Because you seem like such a normal
middle class guy?"
"True, that's exactly what I am, but that
doesn't mean I'm not interested in what
is going on around me?"
It was as if a light turned on behind her
eyes, as if the gears meshed, she smiled;
"so if I were to tell you something that
was so incredible that it hardly made
sense, what would you do?"
"Can't know that until I know what it is?"
"No I mean, do you think you could
keep your mouth shut?"
We'd gone into dark murky water faster
than I had wanted to, but this is precisely
the conversation I was wanting?  That
struck me as odd?
"I could..."
"So that if, for example, people that you
cared about, were in a situation that was
very dangerous, and they didn't know it..."
"I'd try," had to cut in, "to help them."
"Yeah - well see Chuck that's exactly
the problem, you'd try."
"What's that supposed to mean."
"Just what I said, we're not talking about
a situation where you have the luxury of
trying to succeed."
The way this conversation was going I
was feeling a lot better about Bert
bugging out, which when he'd done it,
had seemed lame, at this point, it didn't
seem lame anymore.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

You Say One Thing...Mean Another! -2-

If someone told you the
Department of Justice
was poking around,
wouldn't you have a few
hundred questions?
"What are they asking?"
Yeah, I agree, dumb question,
but I had to start somewhere,
and as I walked across the tarmac,
the conversation ran through my mind, his
twinkled eyed answer answer had been nearly curt;
"your supposed to be good at finding things out?"

Now as my other associates plane came into
view, the conversation kept nagging at me,
because it was strange.  It wasn't that he
was tense, it was that he was deliberately
not telling me some things, which in that
he didn't hide that fact, meant he was
sending me off on a mission with very
few supplies?  Alas we all go there someday.

So as Bert came into view, my mind was
racing a bit, as I knew exactly what Mr. Politic,
had in mind, if my connections were used
right, I'd work back to those questions
myself, and he'd know what he wanted to know.

Bert was a challenging person, his very presence
was one that evoked something, he is big, not
just large, but, fit; you could put my 5'8", 190
pound, next to Bert and you'd see it instantly.
He dwarfed me, and yet, he was not the sort
of large person whom you felt you could
hug like a Teddy Bear and survive the hug?
My guess was 6'5", about 230, but I'd never
asked, wasn't necessary, when you were in
Bert's presence, you realized size had ceased
being the issue, and was he going to attack
or not, became the central point.

"Yo Bert,"  Friendly, smiling, a good greeting...
"Well, look at what the cats set loose, what's
up Chuck..."  Bert, always quick with the wit.
"Bert how long you been parkin' your Cessna
out here?"
"Cessna, son, something wrong with your vision?
This is a ways up the ladder from one of those
hoppers." He touched the fuselage, "it's O.K.
Gina, he just don't know what he's talkin' about
when it comes to splendor?"
"Huh?"
"Wrong make there Chuck ol buddy- this here's
a full blown, 100% Comanche, best of the line,
top of the release.."  As he continued I realized
that I'd set him off...he was proud of the plane,
that was obvious, so I tried on the breath to
get in another opening question.
"Sorry Bert, you're right, I don't know much
about planes."
And he was off to the races again, only this time
it was me not knowing what I was looking at,
and once again, the pedigree speech, well
third times a charm, nothing ventured?
"Yeah, Bert, got it," back to square one here,
"how long have you been parking the plane
out here?"
Now there's a good question, but
I wasn't expecting his answer.
"Writin' a book Chuck?"
"Well, uh, no, just wondering?"
"Why you wondering?"  No aggression
just standing there against the plane asking.
"Bert, easy, your my bud, just curious, I don'
know much about this place, don't come out
here, just looking for some history a little
and I know you a bit."
That seemed to relax him a bit, although I
was still a bit taken aback, was he paranoid?

Bert was an associate, someone I knew at a
distance, but, knew; had been knowing for
decades now.  Weird rumors hung around
Bert like bad air over a crowded city; and
while my teeth testified to the fact that I'd
never been stupid enough to try and confirm
or deny them directly with the big man;
nevertheless they were there.  One thing I
did know personally, some decades back
when we'd worked on a pretty simple
project, Bert had decided it needed to go
one way, and the group had decided it
needed to go another, and Bert had let
them know, very deliberately, very,
meanly (must be a word, sure describes
what happened) that he wasn't going to
allow things to go any other way.  Folks
here about call that a temper?  Bert was
also rumored to have used that temper
with family, and wife, and it wasn't kind,
and those rumors were the ones I for
sure would not ask about, which is why
my teeth weren't in any danger, see?

"How long you been around these parts
Chuck?"
"Since 1980,"
"Where'd you come from?"
"Colorado..."
"My Lord," Bert loved euphemisms,
"had no idea about you, hope you
don't mind the questions, we've
never really chatted much?  Always
been business this, business that."
"That's our lives Bert, we don't have
time for much with any meaning."
It was a point everybody had been
noticing lately, how time had been
seeming to compress, be going
faster, as if that were possible?
"So, what's this history thing you're
talking about and my parking my
plane here?"
"Yeah, well, this airport hasn't
always been here, has it?"
"You mean was it built for a specific
reason, like a downtown extension?"
"There you go,"
"Near as I can figure, originally this land
belonged to one family, years back,
in the mid 60s, I hear that their farm
was doing real well, this was their farm
area here, anyway, I heard they had
this strip put in to bring in crop dusters
for their fields, and the surrounding
farmers who wanted dusting."
"Mid sixties, so it's about 40 years old?"
"Something like that, why, whats up?"
"Oh, it's just that the area here is growing,
and also, we've got lots of materials
that are being handled in the area, and
this strip is nice sized, but it's not called
a full blown airport by the FAA?"
"That's right, this is called a division
sized, but, that's cool as far as our rent
on storage areas goes, that fixin' to change?"
"Oh I wouldn't give it much thought Bert,
it won't happen anytime soon, but we
would all benefit from a regular sized
landing strip, and we may have the chance
to get one?"
"Well, if that happens, I only hope the
powers that be give us old timers a chance
to hold off on that high rent?"
"Sure shouldn't be a problem."
"So what else you got on your mind Chuck,
you don't come around much..."
It wasn't gnawing at me yet, but it was coming.
Had it just been coincidence that I'd
found him at the hangar?  Or had I
been sent there like a heat seeking
missile, find the heat, miss the fire?
Did I dare go into the meat of the matter
with him?  For that matter, did I even
know what sort of meat we was fixin' to eat?